When The Future Seems Uncertain – A Heart That Trusts

Uncertainties

In the beautiful place of El Nido, God wanted to communicate something in my heart. More than 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with a “stroke in the young”. They found 2 blood clots in my brain that caused my loss of vision and severe headaches prior to my trip in El Nido. It also affected my emotions that caused mood-swings. Numbness, lightheadedness and nausea had been my companion for a couple of weeks. During this period, I was really at my point of surrender. It seemed like any time of the day I can have my last breath and say hello to Jesus. I want to see Him, yes, but not yet. There were many plans in my mind and I still want to do things for God, for my family, and for my life.

I was fearful, worried,and anxious. At the same time a part of me was hoping, praying, believing and claiming for my healing. It was hard. I had mixed of extreme emotions. Yes, this was one of the hardest season I had to face. I have always believed that all things, including this season, happens for a reason and a purpose. Oh dear, it was easier said than done. I was hit right at the softest part of me. But God isn’t. He is in control and He will turn things out for good. This I’m sure of.

I had to give up my job and prioritize my health. The doctor advised me to rest and didn’t allow me to go out just by myself . I had to avoid fatty foods and even the sweet ones. My movement was very limited. I needed to buy and take meds regularly. I realized how money can be easily swept away by Laboratory examinations, check – ups, medicines, and MRAs. When my bank account gone empty, God said, “I am here. I will provide.” And He did not fail me. He not only paid the bills but He even blessed me with more.

The presence and support of my family and loved ones was very vital especially in this moment but to my surprise one of the treasured person I had, got tired, gave up and turned his back from me. “Really God, in my season of difficulty, you allowed this?” This was my heart’s cry. I was in deep anguish but the Lord just walked through the dark room, hugged me and said, “I am here. I love you and I will never leave you. I won’t, it’s certain.”

DEVOTIONAL: Times Of Trouble Are Useful

My physical strength and ability to think logically was so poor. My heart was crushed and in pain. Every move was uncertain. My tomorrow was not guaranteed and I was at my lowest. I didn’t know how to fight this battle. I didn’t know how to fight the sorrow that daily visits me. All I can do was whisper, “I need you Lord”.

When I was at my point of surrender, just when things gone wrong and ugly, He watered that hope in my heart that I may surrender everything to Him. I am not sure if this blood clot will be gone completely but I trust the one who loves me and says, “I am here. I will heal you. I still have plans for you. We will get through this together. Don’t lose hope. I am here.”

When I had no one Jesus was there. He held my hand.

When I had nothing Jesus gave me everything. He gave His life.

When I needed healing He showed his nail-pierced hand, saying “It is finished, you are healed”.

When I forgot who I really am He brought me to creation and reminded me of how I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He showed His good, pleasing, and perfect will for me.

When I felt worthless He asked me to look up in the sky, showed me the universe, saying “I am more precious than this.”

It is now 2019, three years have passed. The clot is gone. I am alive, 10x better and should I say healthier all because of Jesus. He is faithful and He will always be. I now face each day fully surrendered to Him. And you know what, daily dose of grace, mercy, peace and joy accompanies me. If not because of that season, I won’t be able to experience more of Him. He let me go through that lowest point of my life that I may surrender to His will. Precious things were taken that I may receive the most precious gifts He has in store for me. I was made empty that I may be filled again. He allowed that sickness, that I may find strength in Him. That season made me understand and experience that all I need is Him. Whatever I need. He is the answer.

In our lifetime, we will face troubles and problems, but take heart, the Bible says, Jesus has overcome the world. And if you have Him you will also overcome everything with His power working in you. Our good God is always at work, for us to have a HEART THAT IS GOOD, relying to Him alone. Just when you are at the point of giving up, know that Jesus is here. He is willing to help and save you. He will walk and carry you through. All you just have to do is call on Him, and the Bible says, He will answer you.

Dear beautiful soul, cheers to a “more of Him” that will turn to an “all for Him” centered life.